Once a week, there was a cup in the catch all section of my apartment. Right by the entrance the one space I desperately want to keep clean.

But I also struggle with compulsive tendencies, and since OCD runs in my family, I’ve been learning the art of letting shit go.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder can be linked to:

• Environmental stressors (trauma, abuse, major life shifts)
• Brain structure and function
• Neurochemical imbalances, especially serotonin

And I check every box. So I rather chill.

If the cup bothers me, I move it. It takes one second. I took time to think about what my roommate must feel rushing out the door without her coffee. That’s a rough start to anyone’s day. Imagine arriving at work and getting a text:
“Hey, this doesn’t belong here.”

By helping her, I’m also helping myself. Training my brain to let go of complaining, nagging, comparing. Choosing action over agitation.

After a session with my therapist, these things stood out

“ people use you as a scapegoat” 

“ well what about Angie”

There’s a thin line between love and disrespect, admiration and envy. For a long time, I dimmed my light thinking others needed space to shine. But that’s not my responsibility and it’s not yours either.

I’ve realized that even when I’ve had less, I was still full because of my aura.
You can’t hide your vibe.
Other people’s insecurities are not yours to carry. IN- Securities, search within, hoe.

The way you show up has nothing to do with how they do.
So keep showing up. Authentically.

By moving the cup I extended grace to my roommate and protected my peace.
Not everything needs to be perfectly placed just like the cup.

I stood in a room filled with women candidates, campaign managers, organizers , wondering if I belonged. To my surprise, I did.

Thank you, Vote Run Lead Action.
I had never been given a training opportunity away from home for something I’m deeply passionate about. And I showed up.

Women make up more than half the U.S. population, yet we hold less than a third of elected seats. Programs like this matter because women deserve to be in the room, at the table, and leading from the front.

I didn’t worry about who’d be there or who to share it with. I just knew this was an opportunity to grow in community. I went for it.
Because it’s personal.

I’m a paralegal, a law student, a community worker?, a blogger, an administrator, a daughter, a lover, a friend and most importantly, I’m me.

During the training, I had to give a speech, public speaking I hate to do.  I am a writer not much of a talker unless I’m comfortable. But I’m also comfortable with being uncomfortable…

One trainer looked at me and said, “Your confidence is inspiring.”
I whispered, “It’s made up.”
She leaned in and said,
“Don’t make yourself small it won’t make them bigger.”

Start that business. Fail if you must.
Run for that seat. Stand in your power.
Make them uncomfortable if you’re being you, there’s nothing else to do.

If my truth scares you maybe you need to move.

We don’t all have the same 24 hours.
And that is okay.

For years, I felt guilty for being able to do it all. Not wanting to but being able to. For the last decade, I’ve studied, worked, and thrown myself into my passions. I chose not to become a mother just yet, because I’m raising something else, my purpose.

Where does this guilt stem from?

Maybe it stems from the fear that most women in my family don’t make it past 45. Yet, there’s Titi Kia, thriving in her chaos.

Somehow, I became the common denominator in dynamics I was not a part of, at all.
My older homegirl once said,
“Ang, sometimes we’re here to shake shit up.”

I started speaking up for myself… people did not like that!

I got tired of hearing,
“Why does it take her being here for me to see this?”
“If she’s so great, call her.”

Direct quotes. From people I’ve only shown kindness to. I was confused because I’ve only ever encouraged greatness.

Let’s take a breath.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

So I leave you with this:
Move the cup.
Don’t complain about it.
Don’t debate it.
Don’t overthink it.
Just move it.