In a raw interview, I confessed that I fall in love every three months. 

But… what exactly is love to you? 

Have you ever heard the Joker’s origin story? Before becoming the villain everyone knows, he was just a man dreaming of stand up comedy, desperate to provide for his pregnant wife. One night, everything fell apart. She died in an accident. He ends up doing a heist, during the robbery, Batman intervened. He panicked, fell into chemicals, and ended up with white skin, green hair, and a permanent red grin. The real transformation wasn’t the appearance it was his mind. One unfortunate day changed him forever. Sometimes, love or what we think is love can feel like that. One moment, you’re living your life, and the next, everything you know about yourself is unrecognizable.

When he meets Harley, she tries to fix him. That was literally her job, Harley was Dr. Harleen.

The joker gave her a sense of freedom she never had. 

But he didn’t need fixing he needed someone to see the world the way he did. So she did. I can relate to that. 

I love getting lost in the world. I’d always dreamt of giving back in Puerto Rico not by sending packages, but by being on the ground, breathing the same air, feeling the heartbeat of home. Somehow, I ended up there for the third time this year.  I usually visit twice a year for some reason my mom would send us back no matter how crazy her sister got ! 

Sitting by the water, I felt accomplished yet carried the weight of wanting to do more on my shoulders.

Leah’s hair was tangled the night before my mission. We stayed up till 2 a.m., crying, laughing, gossiping. I treat her gently because she’s so precious, a full bred Borikén. 

In the morning, I almost didn’t make it, but then Luis arrived. We smoked most of my Newports and shared stories of 25 years of marriage, his children, and his old life in the Bronx. He gave me hope and somehow thought I gave him a good day! He gave me advice like a father would, spoke so highly of his love that I loved her equally. Have you ever felt that type of love ?

I was able to support two incredible organizations, bringing school supplies, joy, and love to over 200 students in Manatí. I fell in love with this mission.

I did not want to team up with anyone who wouldn’t travel to complete this, Jess and Assyria made sure these kids got what they needed. This trip healed a part of me that ran in the streets of Shanghai.

The need on the island is enormous. The school infrastructure is something to study especially since the Department of Education receives significant funding. While Manatí, better known as Las Atenas de Puerto Rico, can provide some students with air conditioning, the poverty rate is 45%, with rising youth outmigration, unemployment, and limited economic opportunities.

At my niece’s school in El Barrio de Israel, there’s no air conditioning. The infrastructure can’t sustain it, let alone a generator. Parents withdraw their kids, which eventually leads to school closures. From 2007 to 2024, 673 schools have closed, roughly 39 per year. I see no positive way to frame this. I wholeheartedly doubt the official data it’s much worse than what they report. Trust me I know. 

Officially, 12.5% of youth drop out of high school, and high school students make up only 2.5% of Puerto Rico’s population. This saddens me deeply and raises a larger issue: Puerto Rico risks being left without Puerto Ricans.

On this trip, I faced the reality that one day, I’ll come home and it could be completely inundated with foreigners. How do we fix this? Home could become unknown to me but I’m used to navigating that.

Later, I had a conversation with my father, one of my favorite humans. He reminded me that people only go as far as they know, so he made it his mission to show me the world. My father is, to say the least, well traveled, within women within the world, you name it he’s been there. He spoke about his love for all of the women in his life, sick of me to believe him. Then he reminded me of his greatest love and how it simply wouldn’t have worked. If it did she wouldn’t have been the same, therefore he would’ve lost his love.

I sat naked, observing every scar and tattoo, thinking back to when I first got my cross tattoo. I never thought I’d end up carrying it all alone.

After years of putting in the work, I was disappointed yet again starting over.

Llore como una cabrona. Nunca me lo imaginé.

To my surprise, I looked to my left…and found love. I always do. A huge part of my story is that my aura attracts others. I’m not loud, I’m not ego driven I’m simply la chacha. 

Being back home, with hopes of sharing it all, reminded me how important it is to keep things sacred. Not everything is meant to be shared. I tried and only three of my friends have had the honor of meeting my family. I desperately tried however god constantly reminded me that this is mine.

The children reminded me that what’s small to us is huge to them. 

My dad reminded me that love is everywhere, to let go and let it flow. 

Leah reminded me of my childhood and how important these trips to Puerto Rico were. 

I’d been dying for a martini and wasn’t afraid to ask. I found a bartender who would execute this task which led to this draft. She is beautiful constantly asking questions her eyes and round face filled with curiosity. She also represents hope for us. Thank you. Her English is almost perfect but her Spanish is only for us to understand. Gracias Vely.

And when I looked in the mirror, I fell in love again. I’ve grown. I’m not shy about what I want or about speaking out. I’m living my dream. Reflecting on love, I realize that falling in love every three months is about reinvention. I love deeply through my work at my firm, my work with the world, and my work within love. I refuse to settle for less. I don’t blame myself for growing; it’s up to others to keep up.