I remember when I realized I had a vagina.. tough times.

What made this so special to me is that my mom had one too… Since she was a superhero in my eyes, I figured maybe I will also have powers….

At nine my hips widened, my thighs got thicker, my eyebrows grew fuller, my pubes were out of control.. and sure enough I was going through puberty faster than expected. My family called me to congratulate me, at the moment I had no idea why.. or how my pain was so special to them because literally all I felt was pain, there was a crime scene in my pants, my emotions were uncontrollable and none of my friends could relate to what I was going through. In recent conversation with a friend of the same cultural background he expressed that he thinks we rush the process by applauding a young girl when she transitions into “womanhood”. I beg to differ only because he has NO IDEA what it’s like to bleed for sometimes SEVEN days straight, while your internal organs attack you, crippling pain , enhanced emotions and having to go about your day like everything is okay..

In an article written by Paula Lyne ” The seven type of Period every woman knows all too well” she addresses the seven most common times our periods serve us as an inconvenience.. yup I said it. Unless it’s number “5. The ‘About f***ing time’ period“ .. what a fucking relief, we all do that prayer ” I promise you god I’ll never speak to his ass again“.. you’re a liar and Jesus knows your heart.

At 13 while dating a 17 year old I discovered what can happen with your vagina.. how to use it? or maybe even what I thought it was for.. looking back at that moment, not so cool.. What I was unaware of was that you can actually birth a child if you did not use some type of protection.. now hear me out when I was 13 my cellphone was a blackberry. Although I knew what sex was I was being raised by a single parent that tried her best , it was impossible for her to pay the bills and keep my kewchie on check.

Later on as time went by I learned that condoms and birth control were going to be a new part of my teenage years… yes I was “fast” but I had a boyfriend so does that really count? Thankfully in my high school we had a clinic with all these different diagrams, options and support staff. Although at the time it seemed embarrassing I was grateful to have them. I knew earlier on in life that parenting was not in my immediate future and I was willing to do whatever it took to prevent it.

My high school had a day care center in it. While some weren’t in agreeance with it because of some bullshit idea that it is “promoting young teenage parents in our community“, I realized that a lot of the young muvas had one thing in common, lack of support. Imagine having to drop out of school because no one can watch that baby.. it happens way too often. Or imagine not having the resources to not have that baby if that is what you decided, in our community the burden usually falls on those young mothers… As a teen those decisions are incredibly rough, I don’t think that any of us at that age plan to get pregnant, we’re just young and sometimes shit happens.

An article by the Washington Post indicates that reports from the CDC In 2019 state that the abortion rate for Black women was 23.8 per 1,000 women. For Hispanic women, it was 11.7 per 1,000. And for White women, it was 6.6 per 1,000. According to the post this statistic leads to 52.. FIFTY TWO percent of women facing abortion limitations as Roe v. Wade is overturned in certain states.

The risk of dying in childbirth is 14 times higher than the risk of dying from a safe abortion. Black women are three times more likely to die from childbirth. This is simply because they do not give a fuck, the health care system fails to cater to our needs.

Postpartum depression hits us hardest due to the lack of resources in mental health specifically for women of color, we often can not seek help. Women of color suffer from postpartum depression at a 38% buttt due to racial disparities in the health care system there is a lack of screening when assisting a new mother in particular a new black mother.Black women were 57% less likely to start treatment for PPD, and Latinas 41% less likely than white women. Aside from the judgmental eyes of those around us we also get pushed to the side when it comes to our health care providers..

The maternity leave pay is unlivable, childcare is extremely expensive , applying for assistance only makes sense when you make less than 15k a year.. where I’m from the average one bedroom is going for $1,500.. does anything make sense anymore? Women of color face income inequality and are more likely to be covered by Medicaid which limit our network providers to those same doctors that leave us unattended or simply do not listen when we express our concerns during pregnancies.

“Education and income offer little protection. In fact, a black woman with an advanced degree is more likely to lose her baby than a white woman with less than an eighth-grade education.” 

-Linda Villarosa, New York Times

I attempted to solely do a statistic review on Texas..I’m not too sure what the fuck they have going on over there.. lets start with women of color making up 59 % of the population and 74% of those have received abortions , For every 1 BLACK woman that reports a rape 15 do NOT, Four of every FIVE indigenous women across the U.S reported being survivors of sexual assault, the HIDDEN nightmare of sexual assault on the borders, I attached this specific article to point out that the abuse of power is happening; women received hysterectomies against there will.

That’s is right supreme court justices I am going straight to the point.. I want to point out Justice Clarence Thomas.. a black man with an identity crisis. Whom is not ONLY a part of the FIVE supreme court justices that overturned Roe v. Wade but is also challenging contraception AND same sex marriages.

Women living in the “hood” or below the median income, women of color in general although we have a lower percentage of abortions we are still on the loosing end with Roe vs. wade being overturned.

Black women often have negative experiences in the health care system due to the institutionalized racisms that stems from the history of this country.

Let me know when you start to see the pattern

Overturning Roe vs. Wade does not mean that abortions will NOT happen in these states, we will have unsafe abortions and young women will suffer because of these limitations. Between 1972 and 1974 illegal abortions plummeted from 140,000 to 17,000, most of the women seeking illegal abortions were often women of color.

We are often compared to one another, when women attempt to be sexually liberal it is frowned upon and my favorite of all is the 50/50 argument. We are living in times in which women are expected to work the 40 hours, maintain the household, suck/fuck like a pornstar, raise them babies AND YET the decision on what we would like to do with our bodies sit in the hands of the Supreme Court?.. which one is it? Are we free? or are black woman still getting paid 58 cents to the white mans dollar? Or latinas 49 cent to the white mans dollar? If we were free we would be given EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES, men are not forced to make babies, men are not even being reprimanded when they don’t take care of the babies they decide to make, men are not being held equally accountable for nurturing that child.. as previously stated 3 months maternity leave and we are back to work.. never mind postpartum.

It seems nearly irrational when I have to explain to my male counterparts why it is important to PRESERVE the little bit of rights we do have. That’s a different conversation

We can all come to the same conclusion that racial and gender-based discrimination prevent women of color from making decisions for our own bodies; getting justice seems nearly impossible in a system that was NOT created for us. In my previous post I reiterated that the fight for rights of the white woman was not the same fight for the rights of the woman of color. we are affected at a higher rate because we are at a HIGHER risk of falling victim to the system that was NOT created for our success.

It pains me to acknowledge that this is going to be a long fight.. but it shouldn’t be one that we do alone. A special message to the men, eww even women that judge our PERSONAL decisions.. baby someone’s subscribing to the only fans and from a distance I know you wish you had half the courage that it takes to live on survival mode.

Women like us, like me, perhaps even like you don’t often get a Prince Charming which is totally fine at this point.. but I do have an assembly of women every-time I think I’m falling down that will not even allow me to touch the ground.

If you would like to hear the audio of this article, it will be here.