We automatically assume that intimacy means you have to be sexually active, which is 100% inaccurate. Here is a short list of how you can have some intimacy without sex!

Spend some time working out together

Setting a weight goal is probably the most strenuous thing. Working out with someone to achieve ” weight” related goals requires patience and understanding your partners limits. Aside from that being a moment that many enjoy alone, when you share it with a loved one its smoother when it is a judgment free zone. Working out together helps build trust, boundaries and ultimately if it is the right fit it will help you become closer! How comfortable you feel sweaty, hair tied and not looking your best around your significant other ?

Dance the night away

Dancing in your living room has to be one of my personal favorite experiences. When no one is watching is when you can be the silliest with your partner, even if you have two left feet. There is something about building up tension to a 90’s love song that makes my heart grow fonder. My favorite old jam to dance to is ” All my life” K-Ci & Jo Jo, the new school one is “Oooh La” by John Legend. I love a good bachata , especially when I’m the teacher. It’s okay if your partner doesn’t get it right away. Teach them, do not get frustrated and don’t judge. Relax. Even if you have absolutely no rhythm the person you absolutely are crushing on will automatically know how to rock to your same beat. When that moment does come it’ll be even better.

Have a debate

That is right! Have you ever heard a perspective that totally changed your outlook on the person? exactly. I believe that disagreements are when the strongest bonds are built. The way someone treats you when they disagree with you speaks volumes. Debates are meant to be just that, however if you totally don’t agree with that outlook than maybe it is not a fit. But what if you do? what if in the middle of that debate you learn something that shifts your views to a positive one? Now that is a turn on.

Courting

Courting goes both ways, it is not just the “man” or the more “dominate” partner. Everyone deserves to be courted while some believe courting is opening doors, flowers and gifts. I believe that courting has a lot to do with being impeccable with your words and intentional with your actions a/k/a mean what you say and say what you mean. Don’t over sell yourself, be yourself, I hate the notion that during the courting stages we have to send our representative, be transparent and be kind. Make sure you’re emotionally available to not only receive love but also to reciprocate. Courting is acts of kindness, gestures that show we care and it does not necessarily have to be huge ones either. Listening to each other creates emotional ties, actually removing the gender norms and seeing your partner as just a human. Remove the possession, enjoy the experience.

Get hooked before you hook up

There was a time where I thought physical display of affection was cringe, I slowly learned that everyone has different love languages and every connection is unique. When you’re with someone you absolutely are attracted too these things are inevitable sometimes it does not have to be a full blown make out session, hold hands, cuddle, take deep breaths together. Sit in silence together, enjoy the peace of each others body connecting without having to have sex. Build the tension, practice your favorite position, tease each other. Keep in mind not that if you do decide to hook up it is okay. Taking your time to build that tension just makes it so much better. It is like a glass of water after a night of drinking.

Let me know some ways you and your significant other are intimate, I’m curious to know!