As the day approaches some of us have this uneasy feeling… is it going to be awkward? What if she/he does not like my gift? Does she/he even care about today? I have a simple solution, stop stressing, go with the flow.

The gist of it all is that some of us don’t care about the day while others do it may also depend on your partner. At first, I thought I did not care , later on I discovered that prior to my most recent Valentine I received a stuffed animal by my then partner… while that sounds sweet it was a puppy stuffed animal… I am a cat mom.

That night in return he received the shittiest blow job I can give, and some might still rate it a 10. Trust me it’s more embarrassing to not try at all. I find myself to be a great gift giver, details mean more to me than the price. I’ve encountered men that flaunt their wallets but have little decorum. I like my men medium ugly, most times rare and extremely calculated. If your decision making skills impress me perhaps I can impress you. Is anyone else not receiving this soft girl era?

A few years later I was showered with affection and a beautiful outing that allowed me to feel seen. In return I blew his brains off ,just kidding I did but I also planned an outing.

The difference? The effort.

I have never been much of a romantic until I now am. Nothing major happened I just love, love.

It has been statistically determined that men care more about Valentine’s Day than women! When asked how excited respondents were, ranging from Not Excited to Extremely, 60 percent of women were only somewhat excited. In comparison, 50 percent of men said they were excited or extremely excited about Valentine’s Day. In 2021 a new survey found that men are indeed the new bad bitches, no, but seriously, my takeaway is that men put more effort into making there significant other happy than women do. Ladies, step it up! In my opinion Valentine’s Day although a capitalistic holiday it is centered around LOVE, no matter how you do it. Perhaps you don’t get to enjoy your significant other/others due to hectic schedules, well Valentine’s Day gives you an opportunity to make your person feel special.

I will not get into the statistics of why men spend more than 50 dollars while women spend less because at the end of the day I am still a gworls, girl. Instead I’ll leave you with some pointers

Ideas for singles on Valentines Day: (and even if you are in a situationship this can also be for you 😉)

• Check out an event if you are sad don’t sit on your ass. The holidays can feel a little lonely at times although this is a capitalistic holiday, the memes, tension or maybe even the anxiety of being left out can put us all in a funk! You are only human. Being around people that are also looking for company can lighten your mood. The number of people that go out single on Valentines Day will shock you! You can start your search on Eventbrite or if you are nearby join me at The Bronx Collab!

• Some of us aren’t necessarily sad to be alone on Valentines Day we just need something to do. Find an activity at home if you do not want to be bothered with the outside world. I for one love painting, it is always a fun distraction when I feel over stimulated. You do not have to be Picasso to pick up a paint brush, just go for it! We can choose these types of days to disconnect from technology, catch up on some reading and have yourself a glass of wine!
• FRIENDS… how many of us have them?! I know I do and baby this year it is a Galentine for me. I am literally going to surround myself with the love of my friends. Go out with your boys or your girls, make it an activity you all like, surrounded with jokes and laughter is another way to celebrate love.

The most important tip is to love on yourself, you are not valued by your relationship status. My favorite part of my journey is discovering how much I love myself, men use your palm to keep you calm and ladies flick the night away! In my article “ Masturbation made easy “ I breakdown some tools I use if I need some extra self loving.

Personally I advise against first dates being on any major holiday. Get off of hinge just for the night.

Tips for those in relationships

LISTEN.

• Short on funds is not an excuse. I am also a believer that if you are not where you want to be you should not be dating nevertheless, I personally witnessed my friend prepare a meal with drinks, clean his house, rent a movie, set the tone and his girl was happy! all under $50.00. If you don’t have it, get creative, print some pictures attach them to balloons. Go to the dollar store pick up some mini canvas with paint and have a paint and pour night at home. Communicate with your partner so that there are no expectations. Efforts will not go unnoticed.
• Plan an activity and Plan AHEAD. Do not wait last minute to make reservations, one of my favorite places is Swingers they always have a special and it’s a fun time. Depending on your partner you can even get away with an arcade night, a drive around town, pick up some food and then straight to pound town. If you know your partners strong suit is paying and not planning, take the damn initiative. Do not wait until the day comes to start an argument, back to the first tip communication is important.
• The sex. Sex on Valentines Day should be fun, do not pressure yourself but apply pressure. If you get it, you get it. I always love dressing up, I look for an excuse to throw on something fun because it is simply Monday. For Valentine’s Day explore something you both been thinking about. Or maybe your partner mentioned loving you in a particular color, try that as a small gesture of appreciation.
• I personally hate gift giving advice, I think that gifts are super personal. Know your person, some enjoy small gestures while some of us need grand gestures. Look at your partners style/preferences before just buying anything. The only thing I would say is avoid fragrances for both women and men, that of course is a personal preference. I see a lot on social media that women are gifting candy bars to men well above 30…the men are pissed.

Knowing your partner is the most important part of any holiday whether it be Valentine’s Day OR my personal Favorite Halloween. Relationships are not one sided, even when it comes to loving on yourself.

As always enjoy the love you receive. Celebrate in your way and do not get in your own way.

What are some tips you use to keep romance alive in your own life?